I'm shy. Most people think I'm a snob, but it's really just being shy and having a naturally mean-face when I'm thinking. I decided, because of the whole work dilemma I spelled out in early posts, that I should be more friendly to my co-workers. I've been working at the same place for over 5 years, maybe I should find out their last names? I've been making a concentrated effort to be more friendly. It wasn't as hard as I thought. Sure, I have to listen to a few stories about kids or grandkids, but after I talk to someone a few times, they realize I perk up more on conversations about computers or cars.
There is some kind of tit-for-tat going on in the world of friendly people.
See, I'm not used to being friendly, so I'd just say hello or how are you or something like that. If they asked me about something, I'd answer, maybe go into detail. The conversations were a little one-sided, me talking about myself. I didn't want to come off as vain, but I really didn't know anything about any of the people I work with. I started asking them questions. I really don't care about this person's son's soccer game, or the other person's extended family coming to visit, but I imagine no one really cares about things like that, so they listen politely and try to ask questions, right?
It's not just me, right?
Today I realized something. If you ask someone about themselves, they get a... debt, of their own making. The debt requires them to ask something about your life. I really don't want to talk about myself. But, stored in other people's brains is a small file on everyone they talk to and they'll pull from that file to clear the debt - making you both even-Steven. You asked about them, they open the file, have a look, and ask you about something you've mentioned previously. It's odd. I don't feel that debt in my own brain, but I can feel the debt in their brain when I set it. I can see it in their eyes. They search their memory banks and come back with a question for me.
This might be more fun than I ever expected.
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